Raging Tides

For love that you want to burn down.

Crimson Reds And Pitch Blacks

In your eyes will rage a thousand fires,
but don’t you burn down everything to ashes.

You have loved and will love a lot more,
but these fires can burn down every little thing you worked for.

I know you feel so helpless that raging tides of tears well up.
But hey,
You contain oceans within that tiny body of yours.

You’ll be alright.


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Part 1. Whisky On The Rocks Please

To Love.

Crimson Reds And Pitch Blacks

Peace of mind is a luxury after having an awful day and you’re bound to hit rock bottom when the only solace for that moment is almost impossible to get. Instead you get more shit to deal with one after the other. But amidst this shit shower you realize that  everything changes, especially the perception of people around you. You’ll be terrified to trust the ones you love, and yet look around if you could trust them again, because lets face it we need someone to count on, someone to open up to without any hesitations in mind, and most importantly someone to love.

To me loving someone is to be able to be who you are with all the good and the bad. It’s not just to spend time with them and be physically intimate with, rather it’s to  have an intimate understanding of things with that loved one…

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The Leap

I dived into it, although I was told not to.

I dived into the abyss,  a splash of hues all around; beautiful yet dangerous.

I am blinded. Reality is as bleak as it could be.

Death smells close,  inching closer with every passing shade of red.

And yet I dive in deeper; deeper till I hit the rock bottom.

Slaying Dragons Of My Own

© R U S L A N • I S I N E V

Photo Art By © R U S L A N • I S I N E V

When you said you would leave
I stood there, with nothing but a blanket to save me from the cold.
The blanket saved me from the cold but you failed to see that I,
I was numb with how cold my heart felt.
You left it cold.
You left.
You left and I don’t blame you
Because from what you taught me
I was my own God
And so were you.
I have my own battles to win and you,
You have your own dragons to slay.
But I felt numb.
Numb because maybe you let go of my tiny finger one minute too soon
That I hardly got a second to get my feet together and stand upright.
And you left.
You left for your share of battle scars
And I, I watched you leave like a helpless kid that doesn’t know what to do.
You left, leaving me to be my own god.
I was my own God now, but was I?
Just when I had made peace with the fact that it is my call to be what I want to
And do what I want to,
That my experiences, good or bad where mine to wear like a proud scar or like a badge of honor
One fine day you decide to show up around the corner and call them all a stain on my soul
But wasn’t I my own god?
Wasn’t I the one who decides?
Or was it all a make believe fairy tale like the ones I begged you to read me?
You decided to show up with a new face
A new head, and a new self that said a woman is a woman, and a man is something a woman could and should never be.
You said I was shameless to wear the attitude I wore,
That I thought my body was my own
That I could paint my hair a dead red if I want
That my tits bounced way too much, so I should strap on a bra and stop being an attention seeker.

You left back then,
I’m leaving you now
No explanations owned no goodbyes earned.